Interesting conundrums befall college students (interesting, as in, ones that don’t involve money, dating, or ramen). I recently got the chance to truly reflect upon myself, as far as what I’m doing right now, majoring in the field of “Undecided”. Standing on this fence that crosses the lawns of Liberal/Fine Arts and Psychology is starting to get tiring.

I was recently opened to the fact that nothing in Psychology interests me besides the thought processes of human beings. You can’t just skip ahead of the boring stuff and dive into a fruitful career into studying/counseling people. In fact, there isn’t a clear cut way to that. No matter how I draw the picture, science is involved. I hate it.

No, I don’t hate it…I loathe the fact that I know what I love, and I can’t keep using excuses (whether they be disappointing my parents and family, or what-have-you). I have to face the facts: I am terrified of majoring in Theatre, or anything “Liberal Artsy”.

I keep telling myself that a Bachelors is only a piece of paper that I can use to get a job while I work on my masters, but I still haven’t immersed myself completely into acceptance. And perhaps, if I can’t just throw myself wholeheartedly into Theatre…then am I worthy of doing it at all?

Shock and Awe

This was the clearest I could get it to be.

Shock and awe was what I felt this past Thursday, April 2nd, 2009, at approximately 9 PM. The Fine Arts Student of the Year is a major award in Osceola County. It is the major overall $3000 award you get amongst the $2000 dollar awards for different Arts categories (dance, instrumental music, vocals, and theatre). You get the Student of the Year for being the best out of all the students who audition for all categories.

Which is why I was shocked when my name was called.

Some of these kids were so amazing (one guy, William Daniels, who played Sergei Rachmaninoff’s “Etudes-Tableaux Op. 39 #6 in A Minor” like he was channeling the spirit of Rachmaninoff right on that stage) that they should be out there doing what they do professionally. I mean, don’t get me wrong, when I get out on that stage or infront of those judges or whomever, I give it my all. I try to put everything into my performance, but in no way did I see myself in the same league as these other guys.

At the end of the night, they started to announce the scholarships.  When it got to the Theatre category, I was crossing my fingers with my girlfriend. Then, I heard it, “Rosalina Smith!” My heart sank, and I couldn’t hide it. Amber just hugged me really tight, then I got over it quickly, albeit with my usual downward look. Then I just started talking with her about something else when the Fine Arts Student of the Year announcement came about. Then I heard a familiar voice: Mr. Rupe. When he said “I have the honor of announcing that one of my students has won this award, which I won just 4 years ago,” or something to that effect, my ears perked up. “I would describe this student as the Charlie Brown of the class,” a line frequently used by him in my reference letters. I jumped out of my skin for joy. I kissed Amber and hugged her tight, headbutting her in the process. I could not believe it.

The curtains opened, and I went out on that stage, shaking the hands of every person I passed, hugged my old Music teacher (Debbie Fahmie), and, of course, hugged Mr. Rupe, the one who got me on that stage in the first place.  Then, I got that plaque, the one I haven’t been able to keep my eyes off of since that night, and after another minute or so of awkwardly standing on the stage waiting until the woman on the podium was finished speaking, it was over. Unfortunately, I had to leave fairly quick after the show, so my evening ended fairly swift after that moment.

I am so happy to have gotten this award, and I do have to thank my parents for actually pushing me into theatre, Mr. Guiltner for seeing my potential, Mr. Rupe for bringing about my potential, and teaching me to stop “Acting” in order to be a better actor.

And I will use this same speech once I win my first Tony or Oscar…XD.

Ahh, my favorite masks in the world...

I recently ran for Senior Class President (and a few of my Drama Club [DC] friends ran for other offices). I campaigned fairly hard (made campaign videos and shared the link amongst the seniors, gave out cards, etc). I ended up not winning the election (nor did any of my friends, who campaigned harder than I did), losing to the “popular” kid. Me being obviously troubled, my dad comes to me and asks me what’s wrong. I tell him what was wrong. I got really attached to the possibility (and, at one point, it did look very possible) that I could be president, and I could actually help out my student body. Actually represent them well. Deliver on my promises (rather than make impossible promises like these popular kids made). My father says, “You know why you lost, right?”

“You are in Drama. The Drama Geeks back when I was in high school were just as popular as you are. Just as popular as commercializing moist socks.” (okay, I embellished a little bit, but that was the gist of it)

Drama Geek. A label. One that has been around for at least two generations.

The sad truth about it is that my father was right. I remember one of my friends (who was running for office) telling me that one of the students told him that because we were in Drama Club, we could just be “acting” like good candidates.

It’s ridiculous.

I have deduced, however, that if I had to make the choice of being a Drama Geek or Senior Class President, I would line up to the earliest audition. It has been like this for years….decades…..CENTURIES! And it will be like this for generations to come. I decided I might as well embrace it.

Gateway got the President it deserves, and if the school should fall due to his leadership, the DC shall still prevail and rise up from the ashes. This time next year, the barriers will be broken, and I will help a Drama Geek become President. This is another promise that I intend to keep.