The Blogs, the Vlogs, and the Rog Pogs.

Just a forewarning: I don’t think too many people will understand this post, and don’t ask, because I’ll be telling it here as clearly as I understand the situation…which is as clear as a retention pond.

There is an old….story, parable, whatever you would like to call it. It goes something like this: A man was living in a house, alone, when a terrible storm brewed. A police officer came to the house, knocked on his door, and asked him to evacuate the area. The man just responded “God will save me.” A few hours later, and the area started to flood, and the man’s house was knee deep with water. A rescue team came by the house on a boat and offered to take the man away. The man, who was praying, just said “God will save me.” A few hours pass. The man is now on his roof as the water rises. The National Guard comes in a helicopter. A rescue worker repels down to the man on the roof and screams for him to get into the helicopter. The man, on his knees, just said “God will save me.” The helicopter left, the water rose once more, and the man drowned in the current of the water. Now the man was in the presence of God and, furious, asked Him, “Why didn’t you save me?”

God just responded, “I sent you a warning, a boat, and a helicopter. You’re killin me here.”

That’s how I remember the story, anyway. Never has this story rung more true in my life than now. I keep getting shot after shot at the same thing, and I always blow it. I let my fear get in the way of true happiness. Fear of going in one great circle, and becoming the very thing that I hate. The very thing that makes me want to escape this house. This flood. I keep turning away my rescue, because I’m looking for some divine sign that this is how things should be. This is my path to my ultimate happiness.

That isn’t how it works. It’s not supposed to be obvious. It isn’t supposed to be a bright light coming from an opening in the clouds. All it has to be is a simultaneous glance.

I used to be afraid that I would become the Edward Hyde of my life, but now? The only thing I fear is that I’ve turned away my helicopter. Maybe the helicopter saved someone more deserving. Someone who doesn’t need a hammer, nail, and paper to remind them that a person is only given so many chances.

I need saving. I know now that I can’t pilot this plane by myself.

That’s always been a problem. I’ve always needed to feel like I was in control. I’ve applied to college and for scholarships by myself, I’ve never asked for help from a teacher, I’ve carried all the groceries in by myself, all the time. I’ve thought that a life of solitude would solve the world’s problems. That people don’t need me, and I could live without people. I don’t want that. I don’t want to be a hermit.

I’m sharing the controls now.