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This is me graduating 8th grade, right before freshman year.

I was struck with an idea by an acquaintance of mine on Myspace. She is reminiscing on her previous years in high school, so I decided, once every quarter I have left in this school year, I will blog about a year in high school, ending with 12th grade on graduation day. I am going to try my hardest, because I think I blocked most of my freshman year out of my memory because it was just an all around horrible year for me.

I got my first and last detentions this year. The first one was for cussing in class, because one of my closest friends at the time (which, I look back now, was pretty sad, haha) Darko Stamenic was buggin me. Gosh, I remember exactly how that happened too. I think it’s because it was semi-traumatizing for me, because one of my favorite teachers gave it to me. As soon as I said it, he turns to me, points me right out (literally, looks straight at me and points) and says “That’s a detention.” I felt my face get hot, and if my skin was lighter, I would have probably been as red as an apple. My second and final detention, which to this day seems ridiculous to me, was officially for “horseplay” when in all reality my foot got caught in my seat at the lunch table and I fell. I was so mad but back then I didn’t quite have my voice yet so I didn’t dispute it with the deans.

I say I didn’t quite have my voice because elementary and middle school was a tough time for me. In elementary school I only had one true friend, and I barely talked much to anybody else. I was the A student which nobody talked to and everybody liked to pick on (ex: The cool kids once told me that I’d be cool if I climbed into the trash can, a moment in my life I completely blocked out until I saw them again in high school and they reminded me of it). Middle school I was trying to make a new name for myself (because I went to a private school, where nobody knew me), trying to be “cool”. In the end, I got crappy grades, but I wasn’t picked on! At the same time, I was an outcast. I didn’t achieve this “cool” or “popular” status. I had few REAL friends, it just seemed like people had to tolerate me because we were stuck together (the 8th grade class was only 20 something kids). I don’t regret going to that school, though. It gave me the morals I live by today, taught me how to cuss (which becomes important later on), and I met the one person who would be responsible for turning my whole life around.

That whole, long, paragraph about my horrible elementary and middle school life was relevant. It leads up to the one moment where I will look back at my life and say, “That changed everything for me.” When I was in 5th grade, I was baptized and confirmed at the same time. My classmates from middle school were all getting confirmed at the same. I thought it was a big deal, but looking back, it wasn’t worth the trouble that I got into. This person from my middle school was one of my “friends”. They just talked to me because they had to, but I thought they were the closest thing I had to a good friend in high school. I was terribly led on. During the third quarter, I knew that my friends were getting confirmed soon, so I would ask this “friend” when they were getting confirmed. They kept saying that they didn’t know. Weeks went by and they still had no idea. One night, I was talking to one of my real friends from middle school, and I asked her if she knew when they were getting confirmed. She said they were already. I was fuming. I IMed the “friend” online and asked if they lied to me this whole time. They said “yep”. I think I say something about us ever really being friends or whatever, and I block them. I’m just steamed with anger at this point. Where do I go to vent? MySpace. First bad idea. I figured this “friend” didn’t have MySpace so they would never see what I would type. I click the Post a Bulletin button. Second bad idea. In this bulletin, I just go off. I am cussing, saying stuff like “You were never my friend,” and blah blah blah. I end it with a nice “**** YOU, JOHN DOE, **** YOU!!!!” and I post it. I felt satisfied and all vented out.

A few days go by, and I forgot about the bulletin. One night, I’m talking to someone who showed the “friend” the bulletin. They didn’t mean any harm by it, they just didn’t know I posted it on MySpace because of the fact that they would never see it. The next day, the police come to my Geometry class. I was scared out of my wits. They take me to talk with the Assistant Principal. They start saying things, like, “Obsession” and “Threatening” and “Dangerous”. I just started crying because I was so scared. I thought they were going to arrest me. I did not write that bulletin to threaten the person at all, but apparently the story was spun so that it looked that way. The police were saying things like “Expulsion” and “Jail” if I ever talked to them again or came up to them. I just nodded my head. I couldn’t say anything. I go home that day, and my parents are just furious at me. The mother of the “friend” had made God knows how many copies of that infernal bulletin and gave one to my mom at work. There could have been better ways to settle this whole situation without bothering my mom personally at work, or going to the authorities. Mind you, this is a family we knew personally, because of Catholic school. After they yelled at me and gave me a stern talking to, my mom went out to smoke and I went out with her. And she was saying how this situation could have been handled better on my “friend’s” side. I know what I did was completely wrong, but I was just so relieved at that point to hear that my mom was on my side just a little bit.

My point is, this situation scared me stiff. So much so that I definitely learned my lesson. I’m happy it happened towards the end of the year, because it gave me time to think about everything. I believe I grew up so fast in such a short amount of time, and I have to thank that situation for doing so. If that never happened to me, I don’t think my life would have turned out as well as it has now.

That pretty much wraps it up for my freshman year. See you in a few months from now!

(Oh, one last thing I learned in freshman year, don’t ask for a fight if you can’t [or won't] give it, especially when the guy will actually hit ya! I got my first punch in the face that year, by a guy who could have apparently killed me because he was in a “gang”. That’s my Italian-ness in me, never back down from an idiot who is angry because he can’t do extra Geometry problems because I helped the sub find the books. Hope you’re havin’ a nice life, John! Can’t wait until you get to park my car for me when I go out to eat!)