Nightmares.
I remember, as a kid, all it took for me to be terrified was a good monster or parents-turning-into-spies-for-aliens-and-abandoning-me nightmare. I can’t remember the last time I had a surreal nightmare such as that. They have been replaced by realistic fears. I just awoke from a dream where an ex-girlfriend of mine turned out to be pregnant, and my life was turned upside down. In the dream, I remember just trying to be the strong guy and telling her no matter what happened on the past, I would be there for her. I tried to be responsible. But I remember just collapsing and just breaking down, something I never do (especially in front of others).
After watching my life unfold, I wake up on my couch to my mom shaking me and telling me to go to bed. I was in a cold sweat, but just so relieved that it was just a dream. It got me to think, though. I just realized how much I have changed, and how all aspects of my life evolved, accordingly.
I also realized how much I miss the monster nightmares.
Late Knight, with Vincent Hannam
So I think it’s safe to say that tonight was the topping on the cake of an amazing first week at UCF. So good that I decided to get off of my procrastination stump and post about it.
So, on a night of whistle-less store clerks, Park Avenue, and rude hosts, Vincent and I thought we’d cut our losses and head home early from a party at Rollins College (an easy 20 minute drive). So we get on Fairbanks (which turned into Orange Ave.) and we drive in what we think is the right direction home. And we drive. And we drive. And eventually, we see something that we shouldn’t be seeing: skyscrapers which are growing large in our vision. We were headed toward the city of Orlando.
We start to get in a panic. We don’t know whether to turn away from the road or keep going, so we decide to call the one person who would usually dwell in the city at 11:27 at night (we’ll call him Lee). So I call him up and, sure enough, there’s loud music in the background, so we figure he’s at I-Bar (which is in the direction we’re headed at this point). After asking him for directions home, we ask where he is, and we hear him say, “I’m at a gay bar, Polk.” At this point, we’ve passed the turns that we would have had to take, so Vince and I decide to go and visit our old friend. We keep driving…and driving….and driving…and finally we come across Pulse. Of course, there’s no parking at the actual parking lot, so we park at the Wendy’s across the street (which I don’t recommend, due to the fairly rude, fat janitor/cashier who wouldn’t let me in to use the restroom). We cross Orange Avenue (which is, basically, a death defying stunt that I wouldn’t recommend to anyone) and are now right outside Orlando’s premier gay bar. We call Lee to see if he’d meet us outside. No answer. So, with our chins held high, we work up the courage to walk in (which, just to note, would be the situation for us if it was any kind of club. You could tell that clubbing is definitely not our scene…yet…).
Now we’re inside the entrance, which is a small office-like area and has a couple of entrance ways which you could see through, and we text Lee again (since there was a $10 fee to enter after 11, of course). Lee and a mutual friend meets up with us, greets us, and pays our way in. So now Vince and I are walking through this club with different rooms (a smoky lounge area, a smoky dance area, a smoky women’s bathroom, and the outside bar) and meet up with some more friends and acquaintances. After a good hour of chatting and mingling, we heard that there was a drag show happening soon, which a few friends insisted upon us seeing. So we go to this other room, complete with stage, and watch a drag queen show (which was surprisingly hilarious.) Halfway through that show, we decided that we had to go, since Vince had work in the morning, so we bid our friends adieu, asked for some directions home, and after another hour and a half of driving on I4 and getting lost, we finally found our way back to good ol’ UCF.
Definitely a day…no…WEEK of firsts for me…and it’s only been one week.
Thnks fr th Mmrs (?)
I’ve been reading some blogs from one of my best friends (stevenwakefield.wordpress.com) and I’ve come to realize that my brain works like Google. To bring up all of these great memories from the deep confounds of my mind, I need a stimulus, much like the need to type something into the text box in order to bring up a result. I forget all of these great moments of my life, like shooting an air hockey puck with Vincent all the way to the locked abyss of the Bowling Alley, or the like. There are only a select few memories I can bring from the annals of my mind without any assistance (the night the Dead Poet’s Society was created).
I often feel like my life is like a good novel with the vowels dashed from existence. It’s just not right, and unfulfilling…which makes me so thankful that I decided to post my life experiences up to the world, whether they be in video or through text.
It’s my way to keep the holes filled.
I Dream of Jobs
A friend inspired me to list off all of the possible careers I’ve looked at from age 1-18. In that order, it would be….
Astronaut
Mars Astronaut (XD)
Actor (3rd or 4th grade)
Cop/Detective (6th-7th…Catholic school killed my creativity)
Lawyer (7th-8th)
Psychiatrist/Therapist (Started in 9th)
Actor (10th)
And now….
The world’s first Thespian Psychologist Civil Rights Lawyer! (I’m stuck between careers right now…XD)
Michael Jackson, Ferrah Fawcett, Ed McMahon, and Billy Mays
All in one week we lost these four entertainers. I felt the need to post something quick, I’ve just been so frenzied the past few days I haven’t been able to get on to do anything. Hopefully sometime this week I’ll calm down long enough to put up some posts about all four.
Senior Year…on the way/Limbo
I can’t bring myself up to writing my final high school blog yet. It could be laziness…it could be nostalgia…either way, I promise it’ll be coming soon.
What I really wanted to talk about today is this particular summer. I have a lot of time to myself to think about things, and I was wondering if this summer is similar to all summers for college-bounds. The summer of Limbo…of Purgatory…of the Monkey…the summer where you are no longer a high school student, yet not a college student. The summer where you take road trips with your friends, or by yourself, for self discovery, or the summer where you hibernate in your home, in wait for the Spring that will last you at least the next four years of your life.
I don’t like this Limbo business. It makes this particular summer drag on for what seems like an eternity, which may not particularly be a terrible thing.
Coming Soon….Senior Year!
I’m really trying to reflect upon everything that has happened this school year (and what happened in the past few days), so my promised final entrance into my high school series will be coming soon.
It’s Comin’ Up Fast
In a short three days from today, I will be standing up, walking in a line from the back row I have been given, stand anxiously offstage, and be picking up the empty diploma case which my principal will hand me (we pick up our diplomas at school over the summer).
There was honestly a time in my life where I couldn’t see myself saying that sentence. It was a weird time when I thought either I wouldn’t graduate, or I wouldn’t live to see that day (not in a suicidal or terminally ill way). I just didn’t see myself going up to that stage and moving my tassel to the right. And now, it’s almost here. That day is coming upon me, and…I’m kind of mixed about it. Part of me is completely terrified, part of me is apathetic, and part of me is incredibly excited to be starting a new section of my life. It is a smorgasbord of emotions which are familiar to me. A smorgasbord I encounter right when I’m about to walk out on stage to perform for dozens, hundreds, or thousands of people (haven’t quite gotten to the millions yet).
Am I ready for it? My final bow out as a grade school student? You bet. Just have to wait out the darned 3 days.
TGPO
So I just had the most amazing conversation with a perfect stranger. I had just signed onto my uStream.tv account, just to mess around with my webcam, when this unknown person comes into my room. His name? Just four letters: TGPO. At first, I thought this person as a threat, due to my frequent spam attacks on that account, but after getting to know him a bit, I discovered a 25 year old married man with a young daughter who is into Hardcore Punk, A Clockwork Orange, and is a fan of Bruce Campbell…..yes….THE Bruce Campbell. This is a man who likes some of the same music as I do, MANY of the same movies as I do (although, he beats out my 7 DVD collection with his 450), and even knows of the dreaded movie simply titled TEETH. Then, after a few minutes of playing the movie connection game (where, by memory, you connect two actors in Hollywood, for example, Zach Braff and Charlie Sheen) and discussing my family a tad bit, we parted ways. This was probably the most interesting conversation I have ever had with a perfect stranger, and I urge all ten of you who view this blog to check out his page (which he updates as frequently as I…XD) at http://www.tgpo.org/.
PS: He is a graphic designer who does work for local websites, and if you need any pointers, or for whatever reason you need the assistance of a graphic designer, The Great Pat-O is your man!