Google verb!
I just found a kind of fun activity to do, and since I need a post for the New Year, I figured I’d do this. What you do is go on Google, and you type your name and a verb (example: Roger wants) and you post up the first result. So….here goes nothing.
Roger needs…two hands for his…instrument. (that’s exactly how it’s typed, lmao.)
Roger has…died. (well then…)
Roger did…it the right way.
Roger likes…everything about football.
Roger loves…toast.
Roger hates…Doug, a lot! (A link to a ytmnd thing about Doug appears…haha)
Roger dislikes…Star Trek. (hey, that’s pretty accurate!)
Roger is…dead. (oh c’mon, I don’t like the bad omens!)
Okay, I’m done (for now). If I decide to do more, I’ll add to this post.
Heartbeats (The Last Day of the Decade)
I wonder what people are doing more, for this coming new year; are they looking back at just the past year, or are they reflecting on what the past decade has brought them. I just had a wave of both come over me.
9/11, theatre revelations, a family torn apart, then pieced back together…and that’s just a small inch off the tip of the iceberg. It’s interesting that the time in which a person changes the most drastically (age 10-18) just so happened to fall on the first decade of the new millennium for me. What timing.
I am definitely taken on a roller coaster ride, thinking about this tumultuous decade, which started off with a bathtub full of water (due to the Y2K paranoia), and me still living with the one person who would flip my whole life upside down in the coming months. If I had known (and been able to understand) everything that would come to me in the next 10 years, I have no clue as to what I would have done. Begged for a change? Stand up to my parents much earlier in my life? Warn someone that thousands of people were about to come crumbling down in a heap of metal and flame?
Played hard to get? Gone to OCSA (probably not)? Would I have still gone out for volleyball and basketball? Let myself get bullieed like I did? Pretend to be some gangster to achieve “popularity”? Set some rich snobs in their place?
Audtioned better? Asked to be moved to a place closer to a state competition-dominating high school? Kept playing guitar when I first got it? Been a Liberal earlier in life?
Gotten more friends? Gotten less friends? Still been a fan of the Red Sox?
Been my own person?
I try to take pride in saying that I have no regrets, and that everything happens for a reason. I often find myself wondering these things, however. I drive myself crazy, thinking if my life could have been so much better had I been a seer. It eats me up, because I feel guilty, as if every bad thing that happened in my family and to myself had been my fault, because I couldn’t speak up.
I only take solace in the fact that in a few years, I can have control of the reigns. I will have my own life to mold.
And you can bet your ass I’ll be making some new, smaller mistakes…because I’m sick of the same, old, life ruining ones.
Silent Night.
I titled this post after my favorite Christian Christmas song, which was sung at mass today in Norwegian, German, Spanish, (broken) Tagalog, Arabic, and English; a nice touch to thee Christmas season.
I am a Catholic although, as much as I hate to say it, I don’t practice my religion nearly as much as most people do. When I say this, I mean that I see people who have God on their minds 24/7. He’s in everything they say, everything they do, and He is everything they are about. People who aren’t close friends of mine would only know my religious affiliation by the cross and the Jerusalem coin I wear around my neck all the time. I don’t publicly proclaim my love for the Lord nearly as much as I should. That was one of the things I realized today, during Christmas service.
Now I probably won’t change my ways completely, but I just wanted to get that off my chest.
Now for the purpose behind this blog. The climate in America is changing. I have heard it from people, and physically seen it on the streets. Most people have just lost their Christmas spirit this year. Up until today, I hadn’t felt the same giddiness and joy that I used to feel the past 17 years of my life. Maybe it’s the economic downturn, maybe it’s the state of the world, or maybe it’s just the cruddy weather we’ve had so far. Church today made me realize what I’ve been missing.
I was sitting there at mass, and I’m looking around the crowd in a terrible mood due to 4 hours of sleep and an incoming illness. All of a sudden, I see two people who, historically, I have not been “joyous” with. I expected to feel those old, negative feelings…but I didn’t. Could have been the sermon, I don’t know, but I just felt happy. I was smiling like a fool for no reason whatsoever in the middle of the reading of the intentions. I, then, came to my Christmas epiphany. Just then, I looked out the glass door and the rain had stopped and the sun had come through the clouds for the first time today. Now, as I said before, I’m not usually one to regularly “sing his praises”, but I can truly say I felt His presence in there with me today; my Christmas cheer, restored.
So today, for all of you who read this, I just want to say Merry Christmas, and don’t be afraid to let a little smile out…no matter what the circumstances are.
Why Avatar won’t be in my Favorite Movies section.
...like a blonde bombshell, looks magnificent, but once she opens her mouth, game over.
For a movie to inspire me enough to add it to my vast list (link on the sidebar, if you wish to check it out) it needs to fit certain criteria. For example: Casino is in there because 1. I’m a sucker for a good gangster flick and 2. the dialogue was just brilliant (as with most Scorsese films); Hook is there because, even watching it today, I am brought back to my childhood with that sense of adventure and believing that, with just a little fairy dust and a happy thought, I can fly through clouds and duel with pirates; Wedding Crashers is there because it was original and smart for it’s time (even as a 14 year old kid, I knew that this was a light in the dark cave of poop humor comedies).
Avatar was a different story.
I went into this film with the lowest of expectations. I just couldn’t buy into the hype that Avatar was going to “change film forever”, even hearing about how James Cameron had to create his own technology to make the darn thing. I knew about the actual actors Mocapping the entire film. I knew that Cameron had been writing the script for over a decade until his technology could be realized. I’ve seen his movies, I’m a fan of his work (some of it being on my list), but I just didn’t want to believe the hype.
I feel it is my duty as one who claims to love going to the movies to state that I do believe James Cameron has succeeded in revolutionizing film for our generation.
Unfortunately, I couldn’t see the movie on IMAX, but I did shell out the extra money to see it in 3D and I actually felt goosebumps, seeing how amazing everything looked (from the military base our hero landed on, to the world of Pandorum itself). It’s the first time I could honestly say I felt as if I was looking through not just a window, but (as a friend cleverly put it) a portal into another realm, an achievement few films can claim, but all films should strive for. The effects were just magnificent, and truly magical (without spoiling anything, there is a scene where the main character is romping through Pandorum at night, and everything was glowing…I longed to be able to jump through the screen and see it all for myself).
Now, one more thing about the movies on my list are replay value. I have to always ask myself if I’d be willing to pay to see a movie again.
Would I pay to see Avatar again? Absolutely not, for one reason (and most of you who have read reviews know what I’m going to say).
The script.
This script, which James Cameron had over a decade to work on and polish, just fell short of average. What I was hearing did not capture me as much as what I was watching. The story was just so bland and predictable. It’s as if he was watching the movie Pocahontas one day and thought “what if I made this about humans and aliens, rather than the British and Native Americans?” Sure, there was the occasional chuckle moment when the hero trips over himself, or is called a moron by the Na’vi (the “natives”), but nothing that truly captured, shocked, saddened, or inspired me.
If you’re still reading this, then here’s my final verdict: Avatar is, not only a beautiful movie, but an important one that you must see in a theater at least once in your life. It’s one of those movies that they will replay in movie theaters 30, 40, maybe even 50 years in the future. You can almost say Avatar, like (possibly) Star Wars IV: A New Hope, or, dare I say, the first movie in technicolor (The Gulf Between), is more like an event than a movie. You just may find yourself telling your kid or grand-kid about where you were and what was going through your mind when you were watching Avatar in those things called movie theaters (assuming technology deems them obsolete, or they don’t exist due to world domination by our robot overlords).
I know I will…I’ll just have to finish my story with “…too bad about that script, though…”
I Believe I Can Fly
Interesting conundrums befall college students (interesting, as in, ones that don’t involve money, dating, or ramen). I recently got the chance to truly reflect upon myself, as far as what I’m doing right now, majoring in the field of “Undecided”. Standing on this fence that crosses the lawns of Liberal/Fine Arts and Psychology is starting to get tiring.
I was recently opened to the fact that nothing in Psychology interests me besides the thought processes of human beings. You can’t just skip ahead of the boring stuff and dive into a fruitful career into studying/counseling people. In fact, there isn’t a clear cut way to that. No matter how I draw the picture, science is involved. I hate it.
No, I don’t hate it…I loathe the fact that I know what I love, and I can’t keep using excuses (whether they be disappointing my parents and family, or what-have-you). I have to face the facts: I am terrified of majoring in Theatre, or anything “Liberal Artsy”.
I keep telling myself that a Bachelors is only a piece of paper that I can use to get a job while I work on my masters, but I still haven’t immersed myself completely into acceptance. And perhaps, if I can’t just throw myself wholeheartedly into Theatre…then am I worthy of doing it at all?
Nightmares.
I remember, as a kid, all it took for me to be terrified was a good monster or parents-turning-into-spies-for-aliens-and-abandoning-me nightmare. I can’t remember the last time I had a surreal nightmare such as that. They have been replaced by realistic fears. I just awoke from a dream where an ex-girlfriend of mine turned out to be pregnant, and my life was turned upside down. In the dream, I remember just trying to be the strong guy and telling her no matter what happened on the past, I would be there for her. I tried to be responsible. But I remember just collapsing and just breaking down, something I never do (especially in front of others).
After watching my life unfold, I wake up on my couch to my mom shaking me and telling me to go to bed. I was in a cold sweat, but just so relieved that it was just a dream. It got me to think, though. I just realized how much I have changed, and how all aspects of my life evolved, accordingly.
I also realized how much I miss the monster nightmares.
Late Knight, with Vincent Hannam
So I think it’s safe to say that tonight was the topping on the cake of an amazing first week at UCF. So good that I decided to get off of my procrastination stump and post about it.
So, on a night of whistle-less store clerks, Park Avenue, and rude hosts, Vincent and I thought we’d cut our losses and head home early from a party at Rollins College (an easy 20 minute drive). So we get on Fairbanks (which turned into Orange Ave.) and we drive in what we think is the right direction home. And we drive. And we drive. And eventually, we see something that we shouldn’t be seeing: skyscrapers which are growing large in our vision. We were headed toward the city of Orlando.
We start to get in a panic. We don’t know whether to turn away from the road or keep going, so we decide to call the one person who would usually dwell in the city at 11:27 at night (we’ll call him Lee). So I call him up and, sure enough, there’s loud music in the background, so we figure he’s at I-Bar (which is in the direction we’re headed at this point). After asking him for directions home, we ask where he is, and we hear him say, “I’m at a gay bar, Polk.” At this point, we’ve passed the turns that we would have had to take, so Vince and I decide to go and visit our old friend. We keep driving…and driving….and driving…and finally we come across Pulse. Of course, there’s no parking at the actual parking lot, so we park at the Wendy’s across the street (which I don’t recommend, due to the fairly rude, fat janitor/cashier who wouldn’t let me in to use the restroom). We cross Orange Avenue (which is, basically, a death defying stunt that I wouldn’t recommend to anyone) and are now right outside Orlando’s premier gay bar. We call Lee to see if he’d meet us outside. No answer. So, with our chins held high, we work up the courage to walk in (which, just to note, would be the situation for us if it was any kind of club. You could tell that clubbing is definitely not our scene…yet…).
Now we’re inside the entrance, which is a small office-like area and has a couple of entrance ways which you could see through, and we text Lee again (since there was a $10 fee to enter after 11, of course). Lee and a mutual friend meets up with us, greets us, and pays our way in. So now Vince and I are walking through this club with different rooms (a smoky lounge area, a smoky dance area, a smoky women’s bathroom, and the outside bar) and meet up with some more friends and acquaintances. After a good hour of chatting and mingling, we heard that there was a drag show happening soon, which a few friends insisted upon us seeing. So we go to this other room, complete with stage, and watch a drag queen show (which was surprisingly hilarious.) Halfway through that show, we decided that we had to go, since Vince had work in the morning, so we bid our friends adieu, asked for some directions home, and after another hour and a half of driving on I4 and getting lost, we finally found our way back to good ol’ UCF.
Definitely a day…no…WEEK of firsts for me…and it’s only been one week.
Thnks fr th Mmrs (?)
I’ve been reading some blogs from one of my best friends (stevenwakefield.wordpress.com) and I’ve come to realize that my brain works like Google. To bring up all of these great memories from the deep confounds of my mind, I need a stimulus, much like the need to type something into the text box in order to bring up a result. I forget all of these great moments of my life, like shooting an air hockey puck with Vincent all the way to the locked abyss of the Bowling Alley, or the like. There are only a select few memories I can bring from the annals of my mind without any assistance (the night the Dead Poet’s Society was created).
I often feel like my life is like a good novel with the vowels dashed from existence. It’s just not right, and unfulfilling…which makes me so thankful that I decided to post my life experiences up to the world, whether they be in video or through text.
It’s my way to keep the holes filled.
I Dream of Jobs
A friend inspired me to list off all of the possible careers I’ve looked at from age 1-18. In that order, it would be….
Astronaut
Mars Astronaut (XD)
Actor (3rd or 4th grade)
Cop/Detective (6th-7th…Catholic school killed my creativity)
Lawyer (7th-8th)
Psychiatrist/Therapist (Started in 9th)
Actor (10th)
And now….
The world’s first Thespian Psychologist Civil Rights Lawyer! (I’m stuck between careers right now…XD)
